At a past book club meeting I was conversing with my fellow girlfriends about this-and-that and at one point someone said, “I don’t get why people take notes in their books. What are they writing? I never write in my books.” To which I replied, “I do.” All conversation ceased and eyes loomed over me. Less than gracefully I mumbled out something that was supposed to sound like this: “I like to keep track of characters or make a comment about my thoughts.” Apparently, I was the only one. The moment passed and we moved on to another topic; however, I will admit, I walked away from that conversation feeling like a square peg.
I tend not to follow the trend, whether I like it or not. My recent books have included E. D. Hirsch’s Cultural Literacy, Punished By Rewards by Alfie Kohn, and The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. Sometimes I think I can pull it off and talk about the most recent episode of Mad Men or who won what at the Academy Awards but it is quickly revealed that I didn’t see the show and then I become a silent head nodder, never a duller moment.
But here’s the rub: all these things are what make me who I am. My problem is I have trouble owning my opinions. Mainstream or not, trending or not, hipster or not; I have difficulty claiming my opinions with confidence. There’s an unfounded and overriding fear within me that if I say my non-mainstream point-of-view out loud the person won’t like me. In truth, the majority of the time I’m pretty sure most people could care less about what I think, and even if they did, it’s still my opinion and I still need to claim it.
To ring in the New Year, I’m throwing caution to the wind, going out on a limb, taking the bull by the horns, and saying my opinions out loud. And there will be no fine print. No flimsy explanation for why I have this or that opinion. Just me, revealed.
2015 New Year’s Resolution
1. Being confident in my opinions and decisions. *no fine print
I love reading about history.
I strive to live a minimalist lifestyle.
I want to be a writer.
I love being a stay-at-home mom.
I’m considering becoming Montessori certified.
I’m considering homeschooling my kids for a few years using a Classical Education model.
Yes, I am aware of a few conflicting ideas in there. Did I say they would all make sense? Nope, but that’s me.