There are many things that are hard to hear. For instance, the sound of nails on a chalkboard, that a friend is moving away, or of receiving news that a family member is sick. But few things in this world actually knock me off my feet, figuratively speaking. My husband managed to do so this last weekend. As I was droning on again about how tired I was and how hard the days seem to be he told me in very kind words to essentially, “get over it.” He is probably dropping his jaw as he reads this because I know that’s not how he meant it. But when your husband says, “I get up at 4:00 everyday, I worked a 17 hour day last week (an exception to the norm, thank goodness), I go for a run almost daily, and I help with the kids in the evening…but I’m feeling okay,” it forces one to step back and look at the situation. My mother tried to warn me of it when she was in town a few weeks ago, but in true daughter fashion I ignored her. “You’re just so tired,” she said. “Maybe you need more iron.” Granted, iron supplements tend to be her solution anytime I’m fatigued but she’s only coming from a place of love and concern. I love you, too, Mom.
After a long Sunday of analyzing of my own psychological state I’ve come through the other end with a better point of view. Have I lost a lot of sleep lately? Yes. Has that loss of sleep made me tired and affected me in unpredictable ways? Yes. Am I the only one suffering? No. Has anyone who has ever been a parent experienced this? Yes. Reflecting back on my behaviors over the past months, the hardest and most embarrassing thing is that I couldn’t stop talking about it. Everyone has their own sob story. Not everyone needs to hear about it.
The sermon on Sunday only further guided me to move forward from this difficult time. The reverend talked about different people whom she had personally assisted in some way during a time of need in their lives. Each person was in dire straights but did not show this outright. They appeared to be in good health, a comfortable living situation, or wearing a smile on their face, despite the fact that they were desperate for help. What set them apart wasn’t the fact that they ignored their personal heartaches, but that they emulated a positive view even though they faced a dark period in their life.
Talk about highs and lows. Being a parent has absolutely demonstrated these emotions to me in quite blunt terms. Thus, I move forward, not much of a changed person, but with a more positive view. It’s already worked wonders.